The Mom's Book of Worries

If you read back a few blogs you'll see that my kids have lost their Grandma and their Papa in just a few months. This Christmas is already lacking with those two up in Heaven, but they are still in our hearts and thoughts always!

My Father-in-law had already bought all our presents for this Christmas so we went out to his house last night and gathered around his widow to open them. My husband's step mom is a generous woman and has been in his life for almost 30 years. She is just as lost as we are without Dad!

I have to say, honestly I was not looking forward to it. I knew I would cry and miss him all over again, and I did! There is no stopping that. But it's not just the house, or the pictures, or the presents, it's the memories! And they follow you wherever you are, so going was not nearly as hard as leaving that place. And when my husband said he could almost see dad waving from the front steps I lost it all over again!

A firetruck was the gift he had bought for our son. A vintage one with working ladders and lights. It was amazing and our Benjamin loved it immediately! A doll and pram for our Abigail was a hit as she loved doll babies and anything to do with caring for them! I know he is in Heaven smiling down at them as they play with their gifts he chose just for them. But it was after the party, after the gifts were opened, and after driving away from the house that I got my gift.

Our almost 4 year old son looks out on the manger scene in our front yard as we pull into home and says to me,

"Mommy, I have to go show Baby Jesus my fire truck from Papa! Thank you Papa, see it baby Jesus? I like this firetruck."

My heart broke and mended at the same time, and swelled with a mixture of pride and joy. I didn't know the human heart was capable of such emotions all at once. My darling little boy knew the true meaning of the holidays was not just receiving gifts, but being thankful. And yet being mindful of the first and greatest gift ever given from our Heavenly Father is the true spirit behind those presents. And he brought it all home last night. I am blessed to have been entrusted with such a gift from above as him!

Give with an open heart this year and remember to be truly thankful for all the gifts you have been given! Especially your family.