The Mom's Book of Worries

I vividly remember the chants we recited without fully understanding as children. "Liar, Liar... Cinderella dressed in yellow... Cross my Heart..."

Honestly that last one was a bit hard for me to say. I did not want to visualize a needle in my eye or worse, hope to die! Although the original is much longer and speaks of breaking a promise to save a friend even if it means loosing the friendship, it is not on my list of favs.

But I find myself thinking about it as my son transitions from his first school to his new Kindergarten. It was a long few weeks and I was worried that I had made a terrible blunder in moving him a few months after the school year, but there was nothing else to do. So I had to make it up to him. I had to motivate him to do his best in school. I had to encourage new friendships.

So I promised him a guinea pig.

That is surely what you were expecting!? We made a vow as a family that if he could go a whole week following directions, completing his work on time, and keeping his 'light on green' at school, he could have a guinea pig.

Well the first week didn't go so hot and I was starting to seriously doubt my instincts, but by the third week he was sailing. He ended the early week on yellow, and had to start over. He kept trying. He chose a name and a color pattern, and would light up whenever he told anyone who would listen about his guinea pig.

And so Jeffrey is fat, fluffy and already attached to his new friend. They were inseparable today and they are even cozyed up under the same blanket! Do I stash him away or see how the first night goes?

What makes a house a home? For me it's having my family with me and being surrounded by the things I love most. Which if you know me, means lots of pictures and trees!

For the kids it was about the same definition, but each might have left his or her sister or brother with Granny! Benjamin wanted to bring Granny with him. ;)

He was very adamant about including Granny until he figured out he was getting a new toy chest from Grammy Bonnie to go in his new room. Once he discovered he was bringing his car bed and toys along, he was much more excited about the "new walls and new room".

Abbie has never been a complainer. She was content with her "mu-vees" and blankie. She cuddled up to Dad and shadowed her big brother from the first night. I think she loves her new toy for her 'new room' but we probably would never know if she didn't.

Our tiny furball has be de-fuzzed and de-pestified. She is looking abit more like a drowned rat unfortunately, but you can't go rutting around in a dead thing and not expect a bath and some serious disinfecting! I mean Gross!

Of course Baby Doll and Kitty had to be here with the kids or they wouldn't be home either. And without a garage and space for the big boy toys, I doubt Daddy would feel at home anywhere. ;)

So in our case our new house is already our home. We still need to get a few piece of essential furniture, but it's home just the same.

If you read back a few blogs you'll see that my kids have lost their Grandma and their Papa in just a few months. This Christmas is already lacking with those two up in Heaven, but they are still in our hearts and thoughts always!

My Father-in-law had already bought all our presents for this Christmas so we went out to his house last night and gathered around his widow to open them. My husband's step mom is a generous woman and has been in his life for almost 30 years. She is just as lost as we are without Dad!

I have to say, honestly I was not looking forward to it. I knew I would cry and miss him all over again, and I did! There is no stopping that. But it's not just the house, or the pictures, or the presents, it's the memories! And they follow you wherever you are, so going was not nearly as hard as leaving that place. And when my husband said he could almost see dad waving from the front steps I lost it all over again!

A firetruck was the gift he had bought for our son. A vintage one with working ladders and lights. It was amazing and our Benjamin loved it immediately! A doll and pram for our Abigail was a hit as she loved doll babies and anything to do with caring for them! I know he is in Heaven smiling down at them as they play with their gifts he chose just for them. But it was after the party, after the gifts were opened, and after driving away from the house that I got my gift.

Our almost 4 year old son looks out on the manger scene in our front yard as we pull into home and says to me,

"Mommy, I have to go show Baby Jesus my fire truck from Papa! Thank you Papa, see it baby Jesus? I like this firetruck."

My heart broke and mended at the same time, and swelled with a mixture of pride and joy. I didn't know the human heart was capable of such emotions all at once. My darling little boy knew the true meaning of the holidays was not just receiving gifts, but being thankful. And yet being mindful of the first and greatest gift ever given from our Heavenly Father is the true spirit behind those presents. And he brought it all home last night. I am blessed to have been entrusted with such a gift from above as him!

Give with an open heart this year and remember to be truly thankful for all the gifts you have been given! Especially your family.